The sorry state of British television

A discussion on Frasier Online about the current sorry state of British TV has got me thinking. I certainly don't question the premise - sure, we make some good shows, but nowhere near as many as the States, and even those shows are mostly documentary or "quizcom": when it comes the sitcom and drama stakes, we're doing appallingly. What I do question, though, is whether that will remain the case. And, you know, though, the really sad thing is that I think it will -- and I don't even care anymore. I've resigned myself to the fact that the USA are the world's best at making television, and the UK isn't really a contender any more. That's sad - in years gone by, years before I was even alive, the British TV industry was clearly at the forefront of the game. But nowadays, we don't even try to compete. Gone are the days of Only Fools, Blackadder, The Prisoner. In the UK, we don't even try to push televisual boundaries anymore. By any objective measure, it seems we've gone seriously downhill.

I disagree vehemently with the usual theory that other countries only get to see the best output of the States, and that in fact, the quality of the US's output can be just as bad as ours. Certainly, the US has bad shows. Fear Factor, Dancing With the Stars and Joe Millionaire give our worst shows a run for their money, yes. But these are the exception, rather than the rule. What's more, they usually get just a single slot on primetime, once weekly. Channel 4 gives Big Brother close to to 24-hour a day coverage on digital channel E4, with one to two hours of highlights a day! Meanwhile, production-line-churned, mediocre scripted programming has no place at all in US primetime, Days Of Our Lives and shows of that ilk confined to the appropriate home of the mid-morning and early-afternoon hours. But the BBC and ITV give Eastenders, Emmerdale, The Bill and Coronation Street a combined ten hours of primetime slots per week! Sometimes as many as twelve hours!! Across just two channels!!! All these exclamation marks are justified, honest!!!!

I suppose that would be acceptable, if the remained of primetime was taken up with quality sitcom and drama - trash TV has its place. But no! Taking tonight, Thursday October 30 as an example, there's just one sitcom in primetime on any of the five main channels - Beautiful People on BBC2. (And it's shit.) There's good non-situation comedy in the form of Never Mind the Buzzcocks and The Graham Norton Show - both brilliant programmes, it must be admitted. But I'll be damned if there's anything else worth watching. Natural Born Sellers - an Apprentice rip-off. Real Crime - lazy reality schlock. Embarrassing Teenage Bodies. Danger Men. Slaves In The Cellar. All reality/documentary fare. The only sign of scripted programming anywhere is in BBC's overrated Silent Witness.

Then look at what viewers in the USA can look forward to tonight. My Name Is Earl. The Office. 30 Rock. CSI. Smallville. Supernatural. Ugly Betty. Grey's Anatomy. Life on Mars. Okay, there's some reality stuff - Survivor, Kitchen Nightmares. But at least it doesn't dominate the schedule. I'd argue there's around eight hours of what I'd call quality TV airing in the US tonight. In the UK, there's two at a stretch.

If UK broadcasters want to compete, they need to seriously up their game. Kill off the appalling soaps and mediocre hospital dramas that ER consistently kicks the ass of over a decade into its run. Bring in a decent Friday night sitcom, not crap sketch shows and My Family series twenty-five. Invest in quality drama and don't fall back on the (genuinely good) BBC4 documentaries alone to justify the licence fee. But I can't see it happening. Oh well, at least the US is still delivering a steady diet of quality programming. Here's hoping the credit crunch doesn't damage the pockets of the major US studios.. if it does, I don't know what viewers after quality television will do. The UK broadcasters certainly won't be there for them, that's for sure.